thisisnotaskateboard

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asda sells spades and other items you can use to r

bum stickerouter. or just a badly timed tuck. i am making a page with all these photos. it's gonna be rad but i can't think of captions. i am doing fun things in asda to give me something to write about. yesterday i went to buy some chocolate but when i got the the till it was busy so i wen't to put the chocolate back but i was too lazy to do that as well so i put it in a biscuit tin. now when someone buys it they'll get home and open it and realise they have stolen chocolate. or at the till the till person will hear it rattling and open it and thing the person buying it is trying to steal chocolate which will be particularly funny since it is smart price chocolate at 27p a bar. today i'm going to see if it's still there.

- Tuesday, March 30, 2004

darkside?
another one of becky's amazing photos. she's so great. the pictures a bit dark but then the day was a bit dark. what is a darkside? tables are fun but hard.

- Monday, March 29, 2004

spring 04

rode trails for most of the weekend. it was prety fun. learnt to do tricks on jumps instead of trampolines. becky took lots of pictures which i will make into a page soon.

- Monday, March 29, 2004

i started this at work and then i was allowed to leave. one new photo and two more old ones. tim says orange was riding today. did i already say that? who knows. saturday should be good if it's dry.

the picture on the left is the old trails in tenterden. nigel told me on the book about ghetto stuff in tenterdan now so we have to go there soon. i quite like this picture.

i have redone the links page again just so it has the actual pages that i look at. i have taken instuition off because it seems to be dead. put up your old media stu - it was good. there seems to be a lot of different sites around recently so i should re-do my other links page but it can wait.

- Thursday, March 25, 2004

i had to stay late at work today so i am updating while there is no work to do. the forecast for the weekend is bad again. it keeps changing a lot, but i really hope it is dry as it seems like a few people will be there. tim - can you text matt h and joe h again. thanks. below is a really old picture of tim on the first at orange. the lip is a little steeper and there's no metal in the middle anymore. it's funny looking at old pictures - we did quite a lot of tricks by accident, like this is basically a griz of sorts, but it's just the way tim was riding back then.

this is another good example. tim's table attempt which is a kind of unturner type weirdy thing.

someone had opened mbuk in asda today so i read that while steve got his lunch. there was an article about some guy doing doubleflips on a mountain bike which is pretty impressive. he said something at the end of the article which was along the lines of: "if you ride you'll have more fun than 99% of people ever will". that's worth bearing in mind.

this picture on the left and the small one are taken at hoggs green. we'll go there on saturday if it's dry too, but it tends to be wetter than orange. tims done a bit of shaping there so it should be ok. it's all tabletops so good for trying new tricks. i want to try a 360.

here and here are some very old articles from orange days. i haven't read them so i don't know what they say but it's probably funny.

- Thursday, March 25, 2004

someone broke into becky's car. i hate pikeys. most of the stuff they stole was mine so it's ok. i have been keeping my bike in my car cos the garage leaks but that's the end of that. i was lucky not to get it taken. shiney wheels are good.

- Thursday, March 25, 2004

toilet dilemma:

you and a friend are babysitting your neighbours daughter who is 7 years old. you decide to take her out to a shopping center. after a while looking round the shops, you and your freind both decide you need to toilet, but you can't take the little girl in with you. so your freind goes in first and does his thing and then it's your turn. when you go into the toilet you are faced with a choice of two stalls. the stall on your right has clearly just been used by your friend, the water is still filling with water and the seat has been left down. the stall on the right has not recently been used. you face a decision, would you rather sit on the seat that your friend was using, which would be liketouching your butt cheeks on his, or sit on the seat that a stranger had used and touching your butt cheeks on a stangers. or will you ever sit on a toilet seat again?

- Wednesday, March 24, 2004

i think i called this trick a fufanu once. it's not apparently. i think i know what the real name for the trick is but i am going to call it a stophop. weather is still looking wet at the weekend. if it is we're going to wandle in croydon with john. he wants to learn spines on an mtb.

go to and read the writing.

- Wednesday, March 24, 2004

went to burham at the weekend and becky took some pictures. here is one of them. the weather forecast is looking bad for saturday at the moment.

- Tuesday, March 23, 2004

what difference between a table and an invert?

Joe Alderson wrote this and i thought you should read it if you were too lazy to download the .doc. I fit very nicely into the yak/josh catagory:

never underestitamte the power of the table top

Words gary young said back in a magasine.

Some how the table top ahs some power. Such a simple trick, yet its so amazing, their no trick like it. Its some thing so easy, one of the first tricks kdis try, yet its one that's never truly mastard of perfected in the riders eyes. It seem their's always room for improvement, and new ways to tweek the bike, and it feels so differnt on diffent jump, and ramps.

The trick is pretty, when the camera come oput, the table top is usually the one that comes out, or is picked out for the web update. When you see a photo, you go, yup, step thu, yup griz, yup x-up, then when you see the table top, you study it, hmm, kness this, arms that, i've see it happen.

Today it seems an on going thing to get the best table photo. This photo is more than just a trick photo, its more than that. It's like proof, proof that you'v put your hours in at the trails, and your a cool bmx'er, no one mtbing kid who has the internet at home and found the web address in mbuk. Its true, if you can produce a table photo, your cool, if you can't your not.

proof

pipe shot to fame with his stripes, so did lima, but the best example is crazyantix pete. This kid was the most hated fashin copy cat on the internet. He got soooo much stick. Their was alot of hate directed at this kids site, his table tops and everything. Then, he learned to table top. Yup, a few good tables later, and then all of a suddern he's a cool bmx'er. Who hate's pete now? not many.

mike netley, he's a lovley kid, he's the one we make go to the shop, he the one takes time to take photo and film. He can ride good too, like that curved wall ride video on his site. Well netley get's alot of stick, and doesn't get much respect. thats because he';s never done a good enough table for you to like him. Same goes for yak, josh thorn and random other people you don't know and who can't table. maybe when they learn to table top and turndown it will be a differnt matter. And no matter how shit you are, you can still get in a magazine with a simple table top.

- Sunday, March 21, 2004

sittingbourne.
http://www.randombmx.com: go here. there's pictures of sittingbourne up. that's where tim broke his arm. they've added a new small mini. i guess it's a midi then. and a corner bowl that looks fun. might have to go again sometime soon as it's only half an hour in the car.

- Saturday, March 20, 2004

first trails of 2004. on tims bike yesterday. these jumps are bad but it's all fun. it's meant to rain this weekend though so that puts paid. this picture is bad because it id movie stills and this computer doesn't have any good photo fix programs. someone photoshop for me please. and below is my loverly new bike. the saddle is really smell. probably because it used to be tims, but most of the other bits are new. i have stripey brake cable. and i can manual this bike properly not like my old one. things are starting to look up a bit. lots more digging to be done.

- Thursday, March 18, 2004

wowowowowow
yeserday i rode trails. spring is finally here. the old jumps were running after we did some work on sunday. i took a video on my camera so hastle tim for screen shots from that. my bike is almost done too so i might put a picture of that on later. exciting...

porc on saturday if it's dry but the forecase is looking wet...

- Thursday, March 18, 2004

i have to be quick. i don't have a computer to use at work so i've just jumped on someone elses while they have gone out for a second. i just sit around watching people work cos without a computer you can't do work. oh, here they come...

- Monday, March 15, 2004

the unknown, sure, can be terrifying.
today was a pretty bad day. i dug for about 10 hours and now almost every jump we've build in the last 18 months has been destroyed. it's nearly flat again now though, so we can start on building new jumps.

the land owner came down while we were there. she seemed to be pretty dense. just walked really slowly and when i asked questions like "is this ok" etc. she just stood there. she was saying that we were stupid for doing lots of digging "i don't know why you didn't just make a bike track with a few jumps in". people get pretty scared of stuff they don't understand.

unknowntrailsrider.tk has been overhauled so now anyone can update, so hopefully it might get interesting with lots of weirdos updating. go there now and update it.

- Saturday, March 13, 2004

Killer Sheep by Abi Varley

It was a pleasant Saturday in March, and Rog (with Ez in carrier), Abi, Ben and Bek were sitting enjoying a drink halfway through a walk through mellow Warwickshire. Having drunk up the intrepid five went on their way, following instructions to go over a stile and into a field through which they were to walk. An initial glance showed that the field was fairly fullof sheep, docile herbivores it was presumed, and a few small lambs, so over they went.

Almost immediately it became apparent that the first impression made by the sheep was not to be believed, they were overly confident, in fact quite pushy, and very inquisitive. Some fast thinking attributed this to the sandwiches which were being carried, and these were hurriedly replaced in bags and pockets. (Comment here that when Bek's sandwich emerged from her pocket it had been squashed and disintegrated into breadcrubs, such was the terror which had been experienced!). Anyway, the removal from sight of the sandwiches did absolutely nothing to prevent the sheep running their very fastest from all corners of the field towards the group of walkers, and then forming a very disorderly jostling group around and behind them. The close proximity and jostling ness of these sheep (not to mention their rolling eyes, fangs and razor sharp claws) terrified Abi and Bek, who clung to their respective men begging them to doooo something. Rog, as the older leader of the pack instructed everyone to keep walking and stop being silly, sothey did, keep walking at least, but the sheep were keeping walking too, so this didn't much help, and the end of the field didn't seem much closer. Ez thought the whole thing very funny from his high up safe out of sheep's way vantage point. To cut a long and panicked walk across the field being harassed by at least 379 sheep short, in the nick of time Ben pretended to be a dragon, spread out his wings and ran at them breathing fire, and they backed of a bit, giving the girls time to run for the gate, which turned out to be rusty and high, but which they scaled with exceptional agility never before shown. Leaving Ben to jog to the gate, and Rog to wonder up and down the filed wondering if it was the right one anyway. What should have been done became clear soon enough, when a photo of the criminal sheep was taken they all ran off - very camera shy.